Introduction

Have you ever wondered what the secret is to a good relationship? Ever gazed in envy at a happy couple walking by, holding hands, laughing and cuddling, and wondered, “How do they do it? How do couples achieve lasting love? And for God’s sake why am I so alone?”

Well, you aren’t alone. You have a friend in your hand right now, this little book, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR LOVER In Five Easy Steps, which holds within its pages the secrets to a life of happiness and love.

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These are secrets known to only a small minority of people, such as international spies, movie stars and white house aides. I believe that until now to only a handful extraordinary men and women throughout history have fully understood all of the secrets I’m about to explain in this book. And these few were invariably among the most powerful individuals of their times, with kingdoms, riches and cultural treasures at their disposal.

An amazing new world of empowerment is about to open up before you. This book will show you the way into that world, by teaching you how to recognize and correct some simple mistakes you may be making in how you relate to others.

Most people make fundamental mistakes when they start out in a relationship. They think, “All I have to do is be nice, loving and kind, and I’ll be loved and rewarded.” They couldn’t be more wrong.

How many people do you know who are the casualties of love? People who have had their hearts broken, been taken advantage of, abused, lied to, cheated on? Wasn’t it always the nicest people that this happened to? Think about the good people you know whose lives were destroyed, whose families were torn apart, who may have been driven to bankruptcy, madness or suicide, all on account of the selfish cruelty of a lover or spouse. Did their being nice make the relationship more successful? Of course not. It only made them more likely to get hurt. In fact my research suggests that by being too nice, they were literally asking to get hurt.

After 28 years of research as a doctoral student at the world famous School of Psychology at Ardnox University, I have at last completed what I believe to be the first methodological system for creating a stable happy life within the context of romantic human relationships. Within these pages are the results of my toil at the Ardnox School.

Dear Reader, you will never know, and it is best that you never have to know, the torment, the anguish, the excruciating suffering of those years. For I have suffered, and even more than I, the subjects upon whom my experiments were performed have suffered, have truly been ennobled by their sacrifice in the name of science. For without them, these ground-breaking experiments in relationship dynamics could never have occurred within a laboratory setting. Without them, the notebook after notebook of painstaking data that I recorded would never have been collected. From the failures of the past are the successes of the future made, and this book is a testament to that, perhaps as no other has ever been.

That data and those results have been rendered down, much like crude tallow is transformed into heart shaped scented soaps, into the five fundamental principles of How To Train A Lover In Five Easy Steps. These five principles correspond to the five simple steps which are all you need to know to free your life from the pain and suffering of failed relationships.

The revolutionary five step method I’ve devised has met with some criticism, with some stubborn resistance from the academic establishment. I admit that in some respects it flies in the face of everything you’ve ever been told about healthy relationships. But I have come to believe, through my research, that everything you’ve ever been told is dead wrong.

If the prevailing theories are correct, then why are there still so many broken dreams and ruined lives in the world of romance? Through painstaking research I have discovered the answer to that eternal question. This book will put an end to broken dreams and ruined lives. Maybe not for everyone, but certainly for you, dear Reader. Starting right now, and forever.

I want you to take a deep breath right now, close your eyes, and make a promise to yourself. Say to yourself, “I will never be hurt in a relationship again. From this day forth I will be in charge of my life, in charge of my feelings, and in charge of my relationships. From this day forward, no more being nice.”

There, now doesn’t that feel better? Was that so hard?

You are now starting a new life and a new way of relating to others, and you will immediately begin to experience increasing feelings of freedom and power. You may even find it a little bit frightening. But remember, you don’t have to go it alone. I’ll be right there every step of the way to guide you. Follow the five easy steps outlined in this book, and get ready for a feeling of power over your destiny. Get ready for a life you never dreamed possible. Get ready for love – finally – on your terms.

Dr. Rhonda Chaillemavia, Ph.D
November 30, 2004